Pharma’s Benefit as PPP No Longer Acknowledge Apples

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After Rehman Malik carelessly outed all Apples as Banana’s, health conscious members of the PPP are frantically seeking supplements for antioxidants of flavonoid and polyphenols in their daily diet. A senior official who did not wish to be named (possibly out of shame for being linked to the PPP) expressed that without his regular dose of apple cider vinegar, there is little hope in helping him prevent the formation of kidney stones; adding on that the pottasium in banana’s was not the solution.

Pharmaceuticals have jumped on the opportunity to mass produce supplement-pills for apples exclusively for PPP nutters who believe everything their leaders say – regardless of the empty promises made over the years.

Fruit sellers are outraged at the loss of a major market of fatties buying apples, to ease the creation of kidney stones, as the PPP are known to spend our tax money on questionable foods and beverages which deplete their health, leading to the purchase of apples. The elimination of this joint demand poses a problem for hawkers and apple farmers.

One of the senior group brand managers’ at prestigious MNC Pharma said that Rehman Malik’s words created job opportunities on a vertical and horizontal level. In his company alone, hiring has already begun for anyone banana’s, across all departments to accommodate the new product line of apple-supplements. This in turn gives marketing and distribution companies’ something new and useless to sell to the general public that fawns over Rehman Malik, even if all 8 of them couldn’t care less about ads.

Managing Director of Sociality360, Program Director of the Fat Torching Planโ„ข at BodyBeat Recreational Centre and believer in summoning eagles as a mode of transport to destroy rings instead of walking across provinces. Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/babarkj Twitter: @babarkj LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/babarjaved Email: babar.javed@sociality360.com

  • http://twitter.com/zaira_rahman Zaira Rahman

    Wow…very nice! Short, fun, interesting. You can be a good journalist…Sharing it further!

  • http://www.facebook.com/raheel.syed Raheel Syed

    I think it would be safe to declare this country as Banana Republic of Pakistan. Brilliantly done!

  • Anonymous

    very nice, Rehman Malik working against both Apples and Bananas, people want their fruits kept out of politics. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • http://www.facebook.com/babarkj Babar ่ณˆ้Ÿ‹

    One can only imagine how unhappy the brand managers of Nestle, Shezan and Olfrute for losing the entire PPP market share that buys their apple juices …

  • Maheen Durrani

    very unhappy ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • http://www.facebook.com/babarkj Babar ่ณˆ้Ÿ‹

    I initially wanted to draw parallels between the concept of outing a gay person and in this case, outing all apples as being banana’s (if you get in inside joke/innuendo). Decided against it at the last minute to avoid venturing into Roznama Jawani territory ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Shahmeer

    very well written ๐Ÿ™‚ good fun!