Judge Rewards Divorce Appeal, Grants Man Time To Learn Telepathy
Earlier today, a family court judge granted a lovesick man a one month appeal to postpone the divorce between him and his wife. The couple in question has been facing issues in communication from the very onset of their marriage. It appears that the husband is quote ‘too dim’ to understand very obvious non verbal ques (on the wife’s behalf) that clearly indicate various needs and requests.
Speaking for his client, the woman’s lawyer told our staff reporter how the husband just doesn’t understand that the left tilt of the head means ‘I’m going out with my friends to buy shoes, make sure the kids have done their homework, have eaten dinner and go to bed on time’, which it totally obvious, we think so.
The man, who clearly has mommy/daddy issues and hates himself, is willing to do anything to keep his wife for eternity, going so far as to collecting donations from family members and co-workers so he can learn telepathy in the States.
“You know these things are like true loving’s, and the heart of mine will find her hearts voices or my name isn’t that of my owns”, the man told us insisting to give this statement in English even though we would have just translated the Urdu statement here anyway.
The man’s lawyer had the nerve of expressing anger over the proceeding (b/c women are always right) adding further, that if the wife just verbally expressed herself out loud once in a while, the whole matter would be void. Hearing this the judge had him disbarred for speaking against a woman clearly in pain.
The terms of the postponement insist that if the man is incapable of deciphering his wife’s gestures (b/c as a woman she is too important to say it out loud, and God forbid, ruin her makeup) by the end of his psychic training, then the divorce would be finalized and ruled in the wife’s favor.
I think we should all be grateful to know our justice system has judges this smart and if you disagree you clearly hate all women.