10 things I love about getting mugged
So today Saba Khalid (of Express Tribune) managed humor with this little number.
The title would suggest there is a good side to being mugged. Let’s find out shall we …
1. Learning better abuse word combinations in Urdu, Sindhi, Balochi and Punjabi
2. Losing contact information of people mostly despised, thereby having a funtashtic excuse to not speak to them for one to two weeks
3. Learning to live without possessions (wallet, phone, watch etc) for one whole day makes you feel like Bear Grylls to a some extent or in some cases Dalai Lama.
4. Learning which friends’ are cowards … and by extension, which have the actual connections + manpower + skill with a zanpakutō to avenge the stolen possessions with.
5. Finding out that it could have been worse from everyone else’s exaggerated account about that one time they mentally crapped their shorts.
6. The added chance of going to Heaven after death. Suffering this life (without complaining) means rewards in the after life. Its a thing, look it up!
7. The free vigilance implant after the event … now respond and move faster now, totally on your guard bro.
8. You kinda sorta almost contributed towards taxes.
9. ID card gone = new identity = Agent 47 dream is finally coming true!
10. The apathy when or if it happens again. Being prepared rocks.