Local business magnate quits smoking, scares tobacco companies

At approximately 1:15pm, the CEO & Founder of Five by Five Communications announced his intention to quit smoking on his twitter. The announcement has been met with intense panic from the tobacco & drug industry, who fear other marketing and advertising community members who admire the millionaire may follow suit in his honor.

The CEO has gone a solid 6 hours without a single puff, and media analysts predict this trend will continue for another 3 to 4 months, though not without a struggle here and there given his agency’s vast clientle and depth of projects. As an added worry, renowned advertising executives have begun a frantic last minute hiring drive of business developers, fearing that now the poison is not in his veins, he and his team will have more energy to acquire a larger chunk of the Pakistan market – which is odd considering most of the fast paced FMCG, Telecom, automotive and banking sector companies are already on retainer with Five by Five Communications.

Once the 24 hour mark has been reached, the CEO is also expected to reap benefits common with this milestone such as lowered chance of heart attack, regrowth of nerve endings, enhanced ability to smell and taste, improved circulation, ease in walking, 30% increase in lung function, replacement of precancerous cells and lowered risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, cervix, and pancreas decreases.

The new found energy and health is expected to take quintuple his annual earnings, leading to leading media moguls holding crisis level meetings with their work forces to become even more aggressive in acquiring clients before his mind – which is ten fold more creative and fast paced that theirs – does it first.

It is an inspiring day in the marketing & advertising industry.

Tags: five by five, quit smoking, step one heroism, tabay abbas, the tabjee

Category: Business