Author Archive: Babar Khan
Managing Director of Sociality360, Program Director of the Fat Torching Plan™ at BodyBeat Recreational Centre and believer in summoning eagles as a mode of transport to destroy rings instead of walking across provinces.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/babarkj
Twitter: @babarkj
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/babarjaved
Email: babar.javed@sociality360.com
Why Coca Cola, Diet Coke and Pepsi are losing market share
A study from Beverage Digest and the Beverage Marketing Corporation, released Tuesday, finds that non carbonated drinks are experiencing strong growth, with energy drinks are witnessing double-digit increases last year, Dasani, one of Atlanta-based Coke’s water lines, growing 11 percent and coffee growing by 9.4 percent. Keeping these trends in mind, PepsiCo and Tata collaborated [...]
Local assassins reject validity of revised PPP & MQM’s hit list for 2012
The killer for hire community has patriotically declined multi million rupee offers from leading politcal parties to assassinate the outspoken and honest chap that ripped party representatives a new one in this excerpt from a TV One program.
Study reveals being a maid or a driver kills off family members
Yet another groundbreaking study conducted by the Karachi School for Business and Leadership shows that maids, cleaners, cooks and drivers working at homes or companies are 90% more likely to lose a family member to an unheard of disease and require immediate leave with pay to be on their side at the difficult time. “It [...]
Lessons of Entrepreneurship: Drive
One of the most commonly asked questions we get is, how life has changed between being a manager to an owner-manager, and the answer is really narrowed into a simple point. With Sociality360, I enjoy watching the company grow and love working with our clients – who are surprisingly much more open to distinct idea’s [...]
Lessons from Entrepreneurship: Risk
So I just met a significant number of colleagues from my university batch (across disciplines), and guess what, they all wear 3.5+ CGPA holders and all got fired from their jobs last year. Not quit, Fired. And unemployed, to date. These were the guys and girls who repeatedly insisted I remain in a cushy ‘safe’ [...]
Inbox Business Technologies to host Golf Tournament, swingers overjoyed
From the 17th to 18th of March 2012, Microsoft’s 2011 Country Partner will host a golf tournament for corporate’s and individuals at Karachi Golf Club, with events for juniors, seniors, veterans, ladies and amateurs. The Dawood Group owned company offers a complete range of technology services, so hosting such an event makes zero sense, except [...]
Jazz Jazba aims to clone Bilquis Edhi, Aasma Jahangir no longer good enough
The youth’s number preference in brands representing their psychographic profile and inclination towards a life comprised of lying and stealing tried (unsuccessfully) to clone Bilquis Edhi and make her a spokesperson to give the brand what little credibility any fool would believe in. Sadly, the clone came out as Aasma Jahangir and not Ms. Edhi. [...]
Canterbury steals million dollar rugby contract from Nike
Media reports suggest the deal struck between Rugby Footbal Union (RFU) and Canterbury, is worth more than 5 million pounds ($7.98 million) a year, an revenue stream that was taken from Nike which had been with RFU since 1983.
Top Five Annoying Statements Future Grandparents Will Say
‘Beta* in my day, you could get a house with only one rupee‘ That’s awesome, but something called inflation tells me your argument is invalid. Furthermore, your generations policies caused the inflation! And yet, approximately 25 years from now, the 1980′s generation (otherwise referred to Generation Awesome) will slap their grandchildren with one of the [...]
Reebok to punish actual athletes with condescending campaign
German sportswear company and subsidiary of Adidas, Reebok is set to celebrate 25 years of its existence by insulting hardcore athletes, by teaming up with retailers to create the perfect athletic shoe. The announcement has been met with disdain from the athletic community, who were hoping the company would have grown up by now and [...]
Low self esteem Nike fans riot over overpriced under-performing shoe
Florida police were called in earlier today to break a riot that occurred outside a store, comprising of soulless campers eager to feed their non existant materialism with a branded shoe that does not possess the ability to elevate their jumping prowess. The Nike brand called Foamposite Galaxy shoe is one of the nations highly [...]
Acumen Fund alumnus ventures into artistic industry
A well known name among senior stakeholders in the NGO’s, VC’s and private equity industry, Sadaf Rehman has endeavored to diversify into the artistic industry, focusing on canvas paintings. She is a self taught artist, with no formal training whatsoever, using traditional tools in her own unique way, often relying on the art to mold [...]
Study reveals behaving civilized is not deadly
A groundbreaking study conducted by management & social science students at a leading institution in Pakistan reveals that stopping at a red light – regardless of what demographic one is in – will not cause loss of life or happiness in over 90% of the scenario’s imagined. The only scenario’s where death was seen as [...]
Karachitips partners with SZABIST students against rape jokes
KarachiTips is starting a campaign against Rape Jokes with students from SZABIST Social Sciences. The idea is to create awareness regarding daily life “jokes” that we make about rape and unconsciously lead people into believing that something like this is okay to be talked about in a lighter tone. Say No to Rape Jokes is [...]
TNBT’s Faisal Khan finds love, Cadbury Valentines activation prime suspect
The GM of Nokia’s prime choice in social media agencies has now found love, shattering hopes and dreams of countless female media planners, developers, BDM’s and brand managers across the industry. Cadbury Pakistan’s recent Valentines Day activation at Park Towers has been shortlisted on the list of suspects, as a touch point for bringing together [...]
Why Facebook’s IPO is Screwed (Sort Of)
So there’s a pretty critical aspect no one seems to be discussing regarding how valid the valuation on Facebook is; a few days ago, the maximum price tag placed was USD 5 billion … now speculators have doubled that amount. The former can make sense, but what is the latter based on? Have they not [...]
Gilani Makes Another Promise He Can’t Keep
Our beloved prime minister, the master class champion of taking back statements made without pause nor reflection, has vowed to expose hidden elements that seek to disrupt Senate elections. Given his track record here, here and here .. place your bets wisely.
Idiots Guide to Augmented Reality
The seamless overlay of digitized images onto a real environment is referred to as Augmented Reality, which ends up producing a composite picture. An example now familiar to movie goers is by taking filmed shots of real scenery and actors or some digital effects. A time will come in the not so distant future when [...]
Idiots Guide to Cloud Computing
Ever wondered how Express Tribune stores all that data, blogs, articles, video’s and more on its website? Turns out, they utilize a cloud computing service called Amazon S3 (cloud storage solution) which allows sub-editors to obtain computing capabilities through the internet, regardless of physical location. To simplify, cloud computing comprises of massive data centers with [...]
Psychopaths Rejoice Over Asim Jofa 2012 Campaign
Thanks to a new clothing line, all manner of working and non working women can identify themselves with a brand that promotes the existence of all sorts of people, regardless of how unproductive they really are. Asim Jofa campaigns for 2012 call for personifying all manner of women as potential customers, even raging psychopaths. “I [...]
Recession Creating Morgan Stanley Handling Facebook IPO
The world of social media has grown exponentially click by click. Now its crown jewel, Facebook, is expected to launch what may be the biggest initial public offer ever seen, virtual or real. It’s opened up new scrutiny of Facebook and the social media landscape it occupies. Experts note that Facebook has learnt from the [...]
China Weapon X Experiment Fails, Rebranded as Cadmium Spill
As part of their ongoing efforts to rely less and less on nuclear weapons to exert dominance and influence around the globe, the Chinese government has made significant advances in perfecting their Republic army into genetically modified super humans. Following Davos, most business magnates and top leaders from the country felt that perhaps an army [...]
Recession Backed Layoffs Reach Asia, Further Negate Value of Education
Lets examine the bottom line … why get a degree? why study at all? No jobs on the market, ultra qualified executives backed with experience can’t land a decent interview, so why bother at all? The general suggestion among the entrepreneurial circle for aspiring workers of tomorrow is to either land a blue collar gig, [...]
USA Screws Itself with Deficit, Sets New Guinness Record
The world greatest superpower has successfully achieved its lifetime goal of blowing the most money on the least ROI generating projects among all 192 countries the world over, prompting Guinness Records officials to award them the lifetime achievement award for fucking up big time devaluing the USD, killing jobs, destroying purchasing powers and executing innocents [...]
Amazon Pisses Off Shareholders for Future Rewards
In an era where making the shareholder happy is priority number one, its refreshing to see a company like Amazon looking towards a more long term strategy, after announcing the intentional allocation of retained earnings towards expansion baskets instead of chunky profits for stockholders. Obviously share prices fell nearly 9% following the announcement, but like [...]
Awkward Conversations Between Bill Gates & PM Gilani at Davos
Must have been fun, wish we could have been there to see Bill dish him a new one: BG: Hey aren’t you from that country that a. ignored the plight of Arfa Karim at a critical period of her illness and b. hates on all Americans for being sadists? Funny how my people stepped in [...]
Korean Comic Nearly Kills Me
And I had headphones on full volume. On the other hand, the full story line is extremely original and profound. This is the comic link. Please pay attention to and follow the disclaimer where appropriate.
Millions to be Blown on Fictional Asteroid Event
So basically, we have a recession in the air and a pressing hope that the leading governments of the world will use whatever wealth we have to maybe – say – use it to improve the lives of earthlings? Well prepare to have your faith in humanity restored, as the European Commission has approved an [...]
Feminists Allow Release of Snow White and the Huntsman
In an interesting turn of events, the adult twist of the children’s tale ‘Snow White’ starring the expressionless Twilight female lead Kristen Stewart will not be banned or protested against by anti-racist and feminist groups – like NOMAS – around the world. The story line, which features themes promoting supremacy of ‘fair’ beings, was expected [...]
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