Author Archive: Babar Khan
Babar Khan is currently Co-Chair of the One Rupee Project, GM of Sociality360, Program Director of the Fat Torching Plan™ at BodyBeat Recreational Centre and former Auror for the Ministry of Magic.
He is strongly against the Mutant Registration Act, Sith Order, SOPA/ACTA and occupation of any nation by force.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/babarkj
Twitter: @babarkj
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/babarjaved
Email: babar.javed@sociality360.com
Megaupload Conspiracy #1: Was It All For Nothing?
So it turns out the Megaupload leader had created a time and tested mechanism + business model that would allow artists to share their work online for free and retain over 90% of their earnings … this of course conflicts with the model used by major record labels that retain exactly 80% of profit after [...]
Travel Back In Time with P&G’s Safeguard
The Safeguard supported school challenge “The Design for Change“, seeks to engage & empower students of Classes 3 to 8 to solve Pakistan’s greatest problems. Exhibitions will be held in the coming days on this schedule: Tuesday, January 31st and Wednesday, February 1st – Arts Council, Karachi Monday, February 6th – Children’s Library Complex, Lahore [...]
Mayan 2012 Doomsday Prophecy Prematurely Comes True
Scholars are kicking themselves in the face for having misinterpreted the Mayan prophecy that the world ends in December 2012; what is becoming more apparent with every passing day is the Strong Likelihood that the actions taken by leading governments in the past week will spring forth a rebellion of epic proportions between the tech [...]
3 Obvious Reasons Apple Will Never Produce in USA
Dustin Dwyer’s latest story on Apple brings up in detail 3 points we all knew at the back of our heads as to why Apple will not manufacture its products in the USA. Excerpt from the article: 1. Cheap labor Apple executives may not want to admit it, but Liker says one of the biggest [...]
The Hell is ACTA?
If you thought PIPA or SOPA was a big deal, wait till you read into the 2011 bill that was passed called ACTA. Given that most of you prefer visual moving objects and pretty colors over reading text, I’ve linked two video’s that somewhat summarize the matter An open letter signed by many organizations, including [...]
Mansoor Ijaz chickens out like a little girl with a tricycle and dollies
Out of being fear of being thrown into hell in the event that he dies via the hands of his enemies, Mansoor Ijaz is taking every step humanely possible from the famous handbook “Being a wimp, for Dummies”. The media commentator who has given his views and analysis in Pakistan, whilst stationed in his cozy [...]
Serial Bar Code Strikes Mian Shahbaz Sharif and Sana Bucha
A minister from Punjab and some lady are victims for a serial bar code that has appeared on several hundred Facebook pages, with the inserted claim of ‘Official Facebook Page’. The bar code, which is one template design sends the highly incorrect message that the social media team behind both figures is not creative enough [...]
CIA frames former operative for refusing to share book sale earnings
Working at the CIA for 14 consecutive years, John Kiriakou, decided he had enough losing blackjack to MI5 agents with drained faces and decided to retire, working from then on at the Senate Foreign Relations Committee from 2009 until May 2011. Knowing fully well in advance that his 401k was a sham built on an [...]
Worlds Greatest Democracy Screws Anti-Nuclear Irani’s
If you’re an Irani banking with Iran’s state owned Bank Tejarat and happen to own stocks in US markets, hey guess what, you’re SCREWED. The worlds greatest democracy – you know the one that spent 10 years and 4 trillion USD allegedly looking for ONE man – has decided to impose sanctions on Bank Tejarat [...]
Lack of Sexual jokes over Cruise Liner fiasco upsets Italians
After the 300 million pound cruise liner tipped to its side and eventually sunk about a week ago, Italians are appalled at the near absence of ‘going down’ sex jokes by tumblr, 9gag, 4chan and reddit which have instead redirected humor towards the inept Captain of the ship. “It just goes to show how human [...]
Internet Prepares to Take a Dump on Maya Khan
The online community is entering the earlier stages on taking a massive dump on Maya Khan for her ridiculous moral crusade. Mehreen Kasana of Express Tribune responded to her openly here, a Facebook page with nearly a 100 likes is demanding an immediate apology (doesn’t make sense, just get it off the air), Kalam TV [...]
Gilani Realizes Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees
The prime minister of Pakistan has finally come to the realization that money does not grow on trees and will therefore refrain from spending billions of rupees as protection for Mansoor Ijaz, who is scheduled to appear sometime before the world collapses on itself in December 2012. Mr. Gilani has instead proposed the presence of [...]
Does Giving Life magazine want to scar your children?
A recent article by The Guardian claims that child modelling is emotionally damaging. It doesn’t seem like the team at Giving Life read it, maybe the $$$ rolling in outweighs the PR cost to repair the damage if any. We are told that the pre May 2011 management + editorial team would never have made [...]
Reasons to Support the current PPP regime
Let me start by saying I do not support this party, but one a close friend and confidant is a vocal supporter of the prime version i.e. SZAB era + policies. Let me further clarify that what is written below in italics comes close to the region of ‘bragging’ but I have no other way [...]
Insurance companies rejoice as Monsters Inc sequel news revives terminally ill
Moments after news spread that the Monsters Inc sequel would be released by October 2012, doctors across America (b/c this only happens in America, like aliens) were shocked to discover improved Junaid Jamshed vital signs from patients considering terminally ill i.e. about to die asap. Insurance companies are overjoyed by this news now that they [...]
Rishta Auntie choices get rejected, goes insane without background music
After having all her prospects shot down by a local middle class girl (like CA’s, green card holders, fatties), a Karachi based member of the Rishta Auntie Patrol suffered a stroke and later spiraled into insanity. Family and friends say the die hard HUMSAFAR fan could not bear with the absence of dramatic background music [...]
Government learns nothing from Arfa’s death, panders to retards
Despite having ignored her predicament at a time that was critical and could have saved her life, the prime minister is allegedly considering awarding Pakistan’s (late) young MCP a civilian honor now that the media is paying attention to her – move that could take attention away at the complete failure that he is. It [...]
How to be an annoying S.O.B. job seeker
Also known as, how to ‘get your email ID blocked for eternity’ and ‘become part of a recruiters sadistic twisted death fantasies’ … 1. Apply without meeting even a single MINIMUM job requirement Asked for 5 years minimum experience in marketing, get an onslaught of CV’s from supply chain specialists for 4 years living in [...]
Another boring after thought about electric vehicles
So I finally got down to reading an article by Sahlique Sultan titled “Electrifying the Auto Industry” which talks about the auto industry, the surprising claim that EV’s (Electric Vehicles) came before ICE (internal combustion engine) ones and what the auto companies need to do to create a more (lets say) relevant design for the [...]
How To Live Longer Without Drugs
Find out what makes the BIGGEST difference to your health Don’t believe it? Go to any park in your area; easily 60% of the walkers/joggers are in their 40′s and beyond … can you guess why? They realized either in time or by the time the damage was done that, their lifestyle of work before [...]
UN Appoints Teletubby Cricketer as Anti-Narcotics Ambassador
The United Nations appointed beloved cricketer Shahid Afridi (also known to his Teletubby fanbase as “Lala“) its good will ambassador against drug abuse. The former captain for the Pakistan cricket team has never used drugs to get ahead, instead relying on sheer determination and hardwork to reach greatness. We wish him all the best. Noted [...]
OLX Services Interest Vendors Launching Brand
OLX has branched out to Pakistan, now extending its reach in providing a simple solution to the complications involved in selling, buying, trading, discussing, organizing, and meeting people near you, wherever you may reside. Check out their Facebook Page and official website for further details. The service offering is so appealing that even the media [...]
APML Rally Draws 50,000 Super Stealth Ninja’s
While the Express Tribune and other notable outlets have started making fun of the APML for failing to fill some 50k + seats at the rally today, those of us with Nazi Robot Warrior backgrounds know for certain that those seemingly empty chairs are infact occupied by Super Stealth Ninja’s. Thus, Mushi is still dope.
Imran Khan outed as Free Mason, Gun Sales Surge for Unknown Reasons
Pakistan is totally an awesome place for conspiracy theories. The latest one suggests Imran Khan is a Free Mason. This implies that the remaining front runners for the election are not Free Masons. This further implies, (as our fictional knowledge of what Free Masonery will tell us) that Imran Khan is the most intellectually powerful [...]
Gmail Prevents Suicides
On 2nd January 2012, the 1st Monday of 2012, Mr. A (name changed for privacy) had planned to kill himself in front of co-workers because of whom (according to him) he had been overworked and unable to find that ‘special someone’. All that changed when the above Gmail advertisement appeared on a YouTube video he [...]
Lakhani Family Graciously Decides Against Suing
Pakistan’s 11th richest citizen, Sultan Lakhani, will not be suing the pants off the owner of an illegally established McDonalds take-away outlet located in some part of Pakistan that the picture submitter has repeatedly forgotten to mention. It’s either because he is awesome or doesn’t give a damn, but we think it’s because no one [...]
Intellectual PML-N Living in Alternative Universe with 35 Day Months
2012! So mainstream. While the rest of the world is foolishly convinced the new year has happened, the uber intellectuals of PML-N are still behind everyone as usual living in good ol’ 2011, counting down the days to the 35th December 2011, a date that only the most delusional brilliant members of society can ever [...]
City42 Reporter Feeds Civilian
Recognizing that heroism from members of news media is rare, City42 reporter Asad Sahi fed a civilian some much needed minerals from his microphone earlier this year. The act was part of his new year resolution of ‘giving back’ and what a giver he is. The civilian can clearly be seen unperturbed by the sudden [...]
Karma Strips Americans Basic Rights
On the 31st of December 2011, America’s first black president signed off on the controversial NDAA (National Defense Authorization Act) of 2012 which allows the US government to detain and torture US citizens that speak out against the government (thus killing free speech) in any capacity EVEN on social media. This pretty much sounds like [...]
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