Author Archive: Babar Khan
Managing Director of Sociality360, Program Director of the Fat Torching Plan™ at BodyBeat Recreational Centre and believer in summoning eagles as a mode of transport to destroy rings instead of walking across provinces.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/babarkj
Twitter: @babarkj
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/babarjaved
Email: babar.javed@sociality360.com
5 things I love about Humsafar Fans
1. Spending less time hogging the internet. My router sucks, and I’m too lazy to get it changed. The net slows down with each additional user online 2. How they talk and bitch about a fictional character instead of doing what they used to do i.e. talk and bitch about real people who have an [...]
Non Religious Parties Support Restoration of NATO Supply Route
Pakistan political parties branded without the face of ‘religious’ – doing so would only hinder their fund raising opportunities with Western forces they supposedly despise – like the PTI, MQM, PML N, PPP and ANP have not aligned with the JUI and ASWJ to verbally protest NATO’s plans to restore their supply route. The route [...]
PM Assures Mansoor Ijaz Safety, Ignores Salman Taseers Death
While the government is strongly counting on you to believe that they are doing everything in their power to prevent the death of Mansoor Ijaz by the hands of feudals or ninja’s, what is odd is the fact that -Salman Taseer was killed by a personal guard -the guard was not punished -and labeled a [...]
PETA Activist Grows a Pair, Goes After US Military
An animal rights activist for nearly 8 years, Mr. Anthony Stark finally decided to do something useful in saving dogs or in this case, preventing their premature death, by starting a slew campaign against the US military for using dogs in combat. This may be the 1st time an activist from PETA has decided to [...]
Wealthy Chinese Women are Sexist
Upper class women of China are behaving extremely sexist nowadays, insisting on female bodyguards instead of males, an obvious plot to equip said female guards with the experience necessary to overthrow the Chinese government sometime this year.
SAMAA TV Ignores Social Media, Pays Dearly
A local TV station ignored significant backlash voiced via social media and online viewers on a show that garnered significant negative publicity in the past week. As per the norm, the channel which is headed by old geezers living in the 1920′s chose to ignore the growing power that social media has, a power no [...]
How to lose the weight and pain
Its better to be that person eating, sleeping and exercising moderately in your fifties instead of those uncles briskly and desperately walking in the public parks hoping for some weight loss. It’s better to prepare, use baby steps. Fix your sleep schedule – 7 to 8 hours a day. Eat a moderately heavy breakfast with [...]
JUI-F Rally Insults Non Muslims While Using Jewish and Mormon Inventions
Its insanely interesting when self proclaimed super Muslims bash those who do not share their own faith, even though the Final Prophet forgave his enemies at every opportunity he got. He forgave those that threw rocks at him, blood relative and otherwise. He never spoke ill of anyone, promoted senseless violence or spoke more than [...]
What 2012 Banking Needs
For all loans to be at a higher spread, the banking model for the future is simple: more lending to higher-quality borrowers and less lending to low quality borrowers. Rather than on returns that are subsidized by loan products, many bank services such as checking accounts and debit transactions will be priced on their individual [...]
Selfless Superhero Sacrifices Himself for Innocents
On early Thursday morning, a senior official of the DHA Vigilance force lost his life protecting a family from would-be robbers. The full story can be read here on Express Tribune. We are currently trying to get in touch with ET sub-editors and the writer for this story Mr. Mirza in order to contact the [...]
Local business magnate quits smoking, scares tobacco companies
At approximately 1:15pm, the CEO & Founder of Five by Five Communications announced his intention to quit smoking on his twitter. The announcement has been met with intense panic from the tobacco & drug industry, who fear other marketing and advertising community members who admire the millionaire may follow suit in his honor. The CEO [...]
Sahir Lodhi’s Accomplishes Hate-Love Ratio 360 to 1
The most consistently baked looking Pakistani celebrity has earned himself over 87,000 fans who DISLIKE his work, while his own Facebook page has 242 admirers. The ratio should not serve to dishearten the Shahrukh Khan wanna-be as his time to shine is around the corner, with Valentine tie in brand campaigns expected from a media [...]
Obama Cracks Hilarious Joke, Hopes Re-Election
The first black President of the most easily offended and supremely overweight super power of the world versed his best ever joke during a State of the Union address on Tuesday; he announced a plan to place steep tax increases on wealthier Americans, fresh investigations into the mortgage crisis and support for domestic manufacturing. After [...]
Bill Gates Will Feed The World
Microsoft co-founder and Harvard drop out is redirecting his philanthropic efforts in a new direction (though not necessarily moving away from polio) towards research in agriculture. In a letter posted on the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation website, he explains the the irony that the starving 15% of the world are farmer families. He goes [...]
SOPA Could Have Bankrupt Google
One wonders why the biggest search engine/tech house of shiny apps would support a grass root cause against Internet based IP’s. One could argue that said company was created by the same generation that opposes said bill and is merely standing besides its fellow generation members. One could assume so much more, but in the [...]
Megaupload Conspiracy #1: Was It All For Nothing?
So it turns out the Megaupload leader had created a time and tested mechanism + business model that would allow artists to share their work online for free and retain over 90% of their earnings … this of course conflicts with the model used by major record labels that retain exactly 80% of profit after [...]
Travel Back In Time with P&G’s Safeguard
The Safeguard supported school challenge “The Design for Change“, seeks to engage & empower students of Classes 3 to 8 to solve Pakistan’s greatest problems. Exhibitions will be held in the coming days on this schedule: Tuesday, January 31st and Wednesday, February 1st – Arts Council, Karachi Monday, February 6th – Children’s Library Complex, Lahore [...]
Mayan 2012 Doomsday Prophecy Prematurely Comes True
Scholars are kicking themselves in the face for having misinterpreted the Mayan prophecy that the world ends in December 2012; what is becoming more apparent with every passing day is the Strong Likelihood that the actions taken by leading governments in the past week will spring forth a rebellion of epic proportions between the tech [...]
3 Obvious Reasons Apple Will Never Produce in USA
Dustin Dwyer’s latest story on Apple brings up in detail 3 points we all knew at the back of our heads as to why Apple will not manufacture its products in the USA. Excerpt from the article: 1. Cheap labor Apple executives may not want to admit it, but Liker says one of the biggest [...]
The Hell is ACTA?
If you thought PIPA or SOPA was a big deal, wait till you read into the 2011 bill that was passed called ACTA. Given that most of you prefer visual moving objects and pretty colors over reading text, I’ve linked two video’s that somewhat summarize the matter An open letter signed by many organizations, including [...]
Mansoor Ijaz chickens out like a little girl with a tricycle and dollies
Out of being fear of being thrown into hell in the event that he dies via the hands of his enemies, Mansoor Ijaz is taking every step humanely possible from the famous handbook “Being a wimp, for Dummies”. The media commentator who has given his views and analysis in Pakistan, whilst stationed in his cozy [...]
Serial Bar Code Strikes Mian Shahbaz Sharif and Sana Bucha
A minister from Punjab and some lady are victims for a serial bar code that has appeared on several hundred Facebook pages, with the inserted claim of ‘Official Facebook Page’. The bar code, which is one template design sends the highly incorrect message that the social media team behind both figures is not creative enough [...]
CIA frames former operative for refusing to share book sale earnings
Working at the CIA for 14 consecutive years, John Kiriakou, decided he had enough losing blackjack to MI5 agents with drained faces and decided to retire, working from then on at the Senate Foreign Relations Committee from 2009 until May 2011. Knowing fully well in advance that his 401k was a sham built on an [...]
Worlds Greatest Democracy Screws Anti-Nuclear Irani’s
If you’re an Irani banking with Iran’s state owned Bank Tejarat and happen to own stocks in US markets, hey guess what, you’re SCREWED. The worlds greatest democracy – you know the one that spent 10 years and 4 trillion USD allegedly looking for ONE man – has decided to impose sanctions on Bank Tejarat [...]
Lack of Sexual jokes over Cruise Liner fiasco upsets Italians
After the 300 million pound cruise liner tipped to its side and eventually sunk about a week ago, Italians are appalled at the near absence of ‘going down’ sex jokes by tumblr, 9gag, 4chan and reddit which have instead redirected humor towards the inept Captain of the ship. “It just goes to show how human [...]
Internet Prepares to Take a Dump on Maya Khan
The online community is entering the earlier stages on taking a massive dump on Maya Khan for her ridiculous moral crusade. Mehreen Kasana of Express Tribune responded to her openly here, a Facebook page with nearly a 100 likes is demanding an immediate apology (doesn’t make sense, just get it off the air), Kalam TV [...]
Gilani Realizes Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees
The prime minister of Pakistan has finally come to the realization that money does not grow on trees and will therefore refrain from spending billions of rupees as protection for Mansoor Ijaz, who is scheduled to appear sometime before the world collapses on itself in December 2012. Mr. Gilani has instead proposed the presence of [...]
Does Giving Life magazine want to scar your children?
A recent article by The Guardian claims that child modelling is emotionally damaging. It doesn’t seem like the team at Giving Life read it, maybe the $$$ rolling in outweighs the PR cost to repair the damage if any. We are told that the pre May 2011 management + editorial team would never have made [...]
Reasons to Support the current PPP regime
Let me start by saying I do not support this party, but one a close friend and confidant is a vocal supporter of the prime version i.e. SZAB era + policies. Let me further clarify that what is written below in italics comes close to the region of ‘bragging’ but I have no other way [...]
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