Author Archive: Babar Khan
Managing Director of Sociality360, Program Director of the Fat Torching Plan™ at BodyBeat Recreational Centre and believer in summoning eagles as a mode of transport to destroy rings instead of walking across provinces.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/babarkj
Twitter: @babarkj
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/babarjaved
Email: babar.javed@sociality360.com
Insurance companies rejoice as Monsters Inc sequel news revives terminally ill
Moments after news spread that the Monsters Inc sequel would be released by October 2012, doctors across America (b/c this only happens in America, like aliens) were shocked to discover improved Junaid Jamshed vital signs from patients considering terminally ill i.e. about to die asap. Insurance companies are overjoyed by this news now that they [...]
Rishta Auntie choices get rejected, goes insane without background music
After having all her prospects shot down by a local middle class girl (like CA’s, green card holders, fatties), a Karachi based member of the Rishta Auntie Patrol suffered a stroke and later spiraled into insanity. Family and friends say the die hard HUMSAFAR fan could not bear with the absence of dramatic background music [...]
Government learns nothing from Arfa’s death, panders to retards
Despite having ignored her predicament at a time that was critical and could have saved her life, the prime minister is allegedly considering awarding Pakistan’s (late) young MCP a civilian honor now that the media is paying attention to her – move that could take attention away at the complete failure that he is. It [...]
How to be an annoying S.O.B. job seeker
Also known as, how to ‘get your email ID blocked for eternity’ and ‘become part of a recruiters sadistic twisted death fantasies’ … 1. Apply without meeting even a single MINIMUM job requirement Asked for 5 years minimum experience in marketing, get an onslaught of CV’s from supply chain specialists for 4 years living in [...]
Another boring after thought about electric vehicles
So I finally got down to reading an article by Sahlique Sultan titled “Electrifying the Auto Industry” which talks about the auto industry, the surprising claim that EV’s (Electric Vehicles) came before ICE (internal combustion engine) ones and what the auto companies need to do to create a more (lets say) relevant design for the [...]
How To Live Longer Without Drugs
Find out what makes the BIGGEST difference to your health Don’t believe it? Go to any park in your area; easily 60% of the walkers/joggers are in their 40′s and beyond … can you guess why? They realized either in time or by the time the damage was done that, their lifestyle of work before [...]
UN Appoints Teletubby Cricketer as Anti-Narcotics Ambassador
The United Nations appointed beloved cricketer Shahid Afridi (also known to his Teletubby fanbase as “Lala“) its good will ambassador against drug abuse. The former captain for the Pakistan cricket team has never used drugs to get ahead, instead relying on sheer determination and hardwork to reach greatness. We wish him all the best. Noted [...]
OLX Services Interest Vendors Launching Brand
OLX has branched out to Pakistan, now extending its reach in providing a simple solution to the complications involved in selling, buying, trading, discussing, organizing, and meeting people near you, wherever you may reside. Check out their Facebook Page and official website for further details. The service offering is so appealing that even the media [...]
APML Rally Draws 50,000 Super Stealth Ninja’s
While the Express Tribune and other notable outlets have started making fun of the APML for failing to fill some 50k + seats at the rally today, those of us with Nazi Robot Warrior backgrounds know for certain that those seemingly empty chairs are infact occupied by Super Stealth Ninja’s. Thus, Mushi is still dope.
Imran Khan outed as Free Mason, Gun Sales Surge for Unknown Reasons
Pakistan is totally an awesome place for conspiracy theories. The latest one suggests Imran Khan is a Free Mason. This implies that the remaining front runners for the election are not Free Masons. This further implies, (as our fictional knowledge of what Free Masonery will tell us) that Imran Khan is the most intellectually powerful [...]
Gmail Prevents Suicides
On 2nd January 2012, the 1st Monday of 2012, Mr. A (name changed for privacy) had planned to kill himself in front of co-workers because of whom (according to him) he had been overworked and unable to find that ‘special someone’. All that changed when the above Gmail advertisement appeared on a YouTube video he [...]
Lakhani Family Graciously Decides Against Suing
Pakistan’s 11th richest citizen, Sultan Lakhani, will not be suing the pants off the owner of an illegally established McDonalds take-away outlet located in some part of Pakistan that the picture submitter has repeatedly forgotten to mention. It’s either because he is awesome or doesn’t give a damn, but we think it’s because no one [...]
Intellectual PML-N Living in Alternative Universe with 35 Day Months
2012! So mainstream. While the rest of the world is foolishly convinced the new year has happened, the uber intellectuals of PML-N are still behind everyone as usual living in good ol’ 2011, counting down the days to the 35th December 2011, a date that only the most delusional brilliant members of society can ever [...]
City42 Reporter Feeds Civilian
Recognizing that heroism from members of news media is rare, City42 reporter Asad Sahi fed a civilian some much needed minerals from his microphone earlier this year. The act was part of his new year resolution of ‘giving back’ and what a giver he is. The civilian can clearly be seen unperturbed by the sudden [...]
Karma Strips Americans Basic Rights
On the 31st of December 2011, America’s first black president signed off on the controversial NDAA (National Defense Authorization Act) of 2012 which allows the US government to detain and torture US citizens that speak out against the government (thus killing free speech) in any capacity EVEN on social media. This pretty much sounds like [...]
2011: Proof that Pakistani’s are Evolved Beings
You know, Pakistani’s get a really bad rap for being superficial and stupid. That’s so mean. We get accused on desiring external beauty over internal beauty. When you ask the average Pakistani what traits his/her son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, son in law an daughter in law should have … one trait that repeats itself is [...]
NSFW: Paris Hilton Converted?
The chief editor of Kuch Khaas is back with another stab at our very hypocritical confusing society and their obsession with Paris Hilton.
PPP Rally Reunites Quadruplets
Thanks to a local political party, quadruplets were reunited after decades of being unaware of the presence of identical brothers. You can see them in the above picture. It’s really a beautiful thing. This party is known for spreading so much love and serenity in the lives of its citizens, its just fabulous. Find the [...]
Who Dares Block Bakeri Biscuits Ads?
Earlier this week when the most despised loved political party in Pakistan needed to gain sympathy remind followers and citizens about the assassination of their true leaders’ daughter (which resulted in the deaths of over 100 innocent bystanders who are of no importance whatsoever since elections are rigged anyway), an outdoor campaign was unveiled all [...]
Top 9 Scenes from MI4
Earlier this week, my clients invited me to an advanced private screening of MI4 in Karachi. Instead of writing a review of the mind blowing masterpiece, I’ll just be listing the best scenes … 9. “Light the Fuse” – the opening sequence follows a lit fuse maneuvering its way around clips from all MI movies [...]
NSFW: Meera, Y U NO ENGLISH?
Barney Stinson Pakistan is back, taking a swing at English speaking maestro Meera. Meera’s Twitter handle: @TheMeeraJee Disclaimer: The video contains mild innuendo. Please watch the video at your own discretion.Only the subtitles in quotes are actual ‘tweets’ posted by Meera. In all fairness, the actress herself is aware of her ‘Engrish’ skills [or lack [...]
5 Persona’s Every Leader Must Develop
I find it necessary to adopt multiple persona’s over the course of my day when dealing with Sociality360‘s vendors, clients, alliance partners, co-workers and students. For each group, there is a unique approach that allows me to ‘get through to them’ so to speak, and its apparent this is a practice utilized by other leaders [...]
President of Pakistan: Nominated as Best Brother Ever
First off, thank goodness the President of Pakistan has recovered from the illness that overtook him not so long ago. We almost lost a shining example of what it means to demonstrate undying affection for family. Proof of his awesomeness comes from the fact that his life was not taken from him in the slow [...]
Ad Executive Considers Haircut
Pakistan’s only Priyanka Chopra look-a-like, who is also a renowned brand executive has openly considered getting a new (possibly short) hair cut. While friends and family are supportive, concerns have risen over her desire to try something “completely different” citing a gutsy mood post her 25th birthday celebrated early this week. Her co-workers expressed concern, [...]
10 things I love about getting mugged
So today Saba Khalid (of Express Tribune) managed humor with this little number. The title would suggest there is a good side to being mugged. Let’s find out shall we … 1. Learning better abuse word combinations in Urdu, Sindhi, Balochi and Punjabi 2. Losing contact information of people mostly despised, thereby having a funtashtic [...]
NSFW: Ripping Hypocritical Pakistani’s
YouTube comedy sensation Osman Khalid Butt is back with another video, this time on Veena Malik and her scandal covered across Western and Asian media this past week. Again, NSFW and enjoy!
One Minute: Original Vs. Eliminate
Chicago based Electro-Dubstep group “Krewella” are a hot topic, specifically their track “One Minute” and the remix released not long after by online DJ ‘Eliminate‘. Original Mix Eliminate Remix Which rocks your world harder?
KEEN Utility – Re-BOOT American Patriots
KEEN Utility found everyday American’s making a difference for their love of country, gifted them comfortable boots and reminded them of the great work they do everyday Re-BOOT Ford Trucks Re-BOOT Elwha Dam Re-BOOT TradeWind Energy “Smart use of the word Boot” – Alicia Shankland (Chief Talent Officer @ Razorfish) “Could have been done better, [...]
![China Invades USA [IMAGINE]](http://pakmediablog.net/wp-content/themes/wp-clear_basic v2.0/scripts/timthumb.php?src=http://pakmediablog.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/China-Army-150x150.jpg&w=150&h=150&zc=1 "China Invades USA [IMAGINE]")
China Invades USA [IMAGINE]
“And the same occurs in Afghanistan and Pakistan every single day, and no one gives a flying fuck for them” – Ankush Johar (Director @ Lloyds Ventures) “Americans could do well with these wake-up calls. Less time on blaming Wall Street, more time spent calling back troops would be welcome” – Michael Gera (General Partner [...]
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