Bad movies are thing caller for cinema. For arsenic agelong arsenic Hollywood has been making films, location person ever been a fewer peculiarly atrocious examples of filmmaking each year. 2023 was nary exception. Since we unrecorded successful nan streaming era, we must constituent retired that our rankings for nan 5 worst movies of 2023 were each theatrical releases. If we started listing each unspeakable made-for-streaming movie, past we’d beryllium counting them disconnected present until 2024.
The existent situation was only coming up pinch 5 of nan worst movies of 2023 because location were plentifulness of bad films that conscionable weren’t atrocious capable to rank connected this list. As tempting arsenic it would beryllium to load up this database pinch 2023’s unspeakable superhero flicks, remainder assured that everything present is worse than The Flash and The Marvels. If you want to, you could way down these movies and watch them for yourselves. Or you tin return our proposal and steer clear of these turkeys. The prime is ever yours.
5. God is simply a Bullet (2023)
God is simply a Bullet is nan Sound of Freedom of Satanic cult films, isolated from not moreover ghosts came retired to spot this one. It’s not arsenic if head Nick Cassavetes couldn’t statement up stars to look successful this film. Game of Thrones‘ Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Maika Monroe, and Jamie Foxx are each very bully performers. But you wouldn’t cognize that if you only had this flick arsenic an illustration of their work.
To put it succinctly, this is simply a grindhouse movie that thinks it’s an creation location flick. Coster-Waldau’s Bob Hightower is simply a sheriff’s lawman whose ex-wife is brutally murdered by a Satanic cult led by Cyrus (Karl Glusman). And since Cyrus has besides kidnapped Bob’s daughter, Gabi (Chloe Guy), Hightower teams up pinch ex-cult personnel Case (Monroe) to infiltrate nan cult and rescue Gabi. This film’s singular accomplishment is that it manages to make unit boring.
Don’t watch God is simply a Bullet on Hoopla.
4. Mafia Mamma (2023)
If you were 1 of nan fewer who saw Mafia Mamma successful theaters, past you really person nary 1 other to blasted but yourself. Not since Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot has a movie’s title truthful blatantly warned audiences to enactment distant successful nan measurement that Mafia Mamma does.
Toni Collette stars arsenic Kristin, a female successful nan mediate of a midlife situation who discovers that she is nan only heir of an Italian crime family. Inexplicably, Kristin is fixed power of this mafia empire, pinch her advisor, Bianca (Monica Bellucci), arsenic nan only personification she tin trust. This is each played for laughs, but nan movie forgets a cardinal norm of making a comedy: to beryllium funny. Mafia Mamma doesn’t onshore its jokes, and it’s a complete discarded of time.
Don’t watch Mafia Mamma on Paramount+ pinch Showtime.
3. Expend4bles (2023)
The Expendables movies aren’t precisely nan champion examples of nan action genre contempt loading up connected immoderate of nan astir recognizable Hollywood icons. But if nan workplace wanted to make judge that location was ne'er different movie successful this franchise, past The Expendables 4, or Expend4ables, is nan cleanable measurement to guarantee that nary 1 will salary money for this dreck again.
Ironically, Jason Statham is 1 of nan film’s fewer redeeming graces, arsenic his character, Lee Christmas, gets to beryllium nan lead. But arsenic a swan opus for Sylvester Stallone’s action career, this 1 couldn’t person been much direct-to-video value than if it was a Blockbuster Video exclusive. Director Scott Waugh embraces nan incomprehensible action style of Michael Bay, and nan communicative is your emblematic “stop a madman from igniting World War III” crippled that we’ve seen truthful galore times before.
Don’t rent aliases buy Expend4bles on Prime Video aliases different integer outlets.
2. Love Again (2023)
There is thing inherently hilarious astir Love Again being nan cinematic acting debut of Celine Dion (who plays herself), which besides puts her successful a cardinal position to promote nan starring man, Rob Burns (Sam Heughan), to return a chance connected emotion and observe what it intends for himself.
Here’s what it intends to this guy: Rob has been getting anonymous texts from Mira Ray (Priyanka Chopra) because his caller number was nan 1 that her dormant fellow utilized to have. And since Mira poured her bosom retired successful these messages, Rob decides to way down Mira and insert himself into her life arsenic her caller fellow without revealing that he cyberstalked her. That whitethorn person worked successful 1998’s You’ve Got Mail, but it’s a laughably atrocious premise successful 2023. And nan movie itself is nary better. Avoid this 1 astatine each costs.
Don’t watch Love Again on Netflix.
1. Fool’s Paradise (2023)
Since Fool’s Paradise is Charlie Day’s directorial debut from a book that he wrote himself, it’s safe to presume that this was astir apt his passion project. Who knew that Day wanted to remake Bowfinger by measurement of Charlie Chaplin and Peter Sellers? Day casts himself arsenic Latte Pronto, a childlike man who is almost wholly mute. Through an unconvincing bid of events, Pronto becomes nan lead of his ain movie and achieves overnight stardom and a Brangelina-style matrimony pinch Hollywood starlet Christiana Dior (Kate Beckinsale).
Pronto’s emergence is followed by his arsenic accelerated autumn from grace. The problem is that thing successful this alleged drama is funny, not moreover nan pseudo-bond betwixt Pronto and his publicist, Lenny (Ken Jeong). This movie has nary psyche aliases artistry, and it’s truthful inept that it easy landed nan apical spot present connected our round-up of nan worst movies of 2023. If this is an illustration of what we tin expect from Day arsenic a filmmaker, past he shouldn’t discontinue his time job.
Fortunately for Day, his time occupation is co-starring connected nan long-running FX drama It’s Always Sunny successful Philadelphia. If this movie had that show’s consciousness of humor, it astir apt would person been a batch better.
Don’t watch Fool’s Paradise on Hulu.
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